Knight was missing. The realization hit Ashe as she fumbled around her room, tearing off the sheets, peeking under the bed, searching the dilapidated armoire piled with her clothes, but to no avail. He was nowhere to be found.
She threw her hands in the air, admitting defeat, and fell back on the bed as she considered what to do. Absently, she ran her fingers through her hair while murmuring to herself. Where did he go? It’s not like he could go far on his own. Was someone else with him?
A new possibility dawned on her. She covered her face with her hands, pulling on her cheeks. Why was it always him? Charien forced himself into every part of her life, hardly even allowing her to breathe without his input and approval. What a bastard.
Charien didn’t even care about the way her eyes narrowed every time he touched her. She only ever had glares for him, clenching her fists like a boxer preparing for a fight, accepting the encroachment of his lips like punches to the face.
The tears stopped years ago. She hardly remembered the last time he made her cry. Well, perhaps there was one time. Her eyes nearly watered at the memory of Jason, but she continued pulling on her face, banishing the mournful thoughts.
No more tears.
Had Charien discovered that she brought Knight and Spade here? Did he steal Knight away in a jealous rage?
She imagined Spade’s reaction when he found out, gnashing his teeth and stomping off to pick a fight he would surely lose. It was hopeless, but she sympathized with how Spade would feel. The fury, the bitterness, the aching loss; she knew these things intimately.
Ashe dragged herself from the bottom bunk, a movement that reminded her too much of the way she crawled out of Charien’s bed that morning, and threw open the door. She stepped with purpose, prepared to tear through every tunnel in pursuit of Knight, even though she feared it was already too late.
Her heels clacked, echoing through the tunnels. Stray glances were thrown her way by a few of the contractors, but nobody dared to speak to her. They knew Charien was never far behind, trailing like a shadow. She felt like a ghost drifting through the halls, somehow visible and invisible all at once.
A gangly young man loitered by the door of Crow’s office, ready to turn in his contract from that day. He wouldn’t meet Ashe’s gaze, his attention fixed on the door.
“He won’t answer, huh?” she said, knowing what it was like to wait around for Crow. The young man was quiet, demonstrating far more patience than Ashe ever bothered with. He didn’t bang on the door and kick it until Crow answered, not like she always did.
She sensed his shyness in the way he studiously ignored her. She smiled, but her lips curled too keenly for the young man’s comfort. “Hey, can you help me out?”
His shoulders stiffened as he finally looked at her. “I…I don’t know about that.”
“What do you mean?” Her smile dropped as she slipped on a wounded expression. “Why not? It’s just a question. Don’t be silly.”
“...I guess that’s fine.” His trepidation remained.
“Have you seen Charien today?”
He hesitated before slowly nodding. “I saw him earlier. It was pretty brief.”
“What was he doing?” Her tone became more serious.
The young man glanced over his shoulder, checking who was in earshot. “Not much. I passed him in the hall. He was just walking. He didn’t say anything to me.”
She didn’t know what that meant. Charien was renowned for his discretion. If he wanted to do something quietly, he was more than capable. Nobody would know if he stole Knight away.
“He muttered something,” the young man said. “I couldn’t really tell what he said.”
She dropped all pretenses, panic shaking her voice. “What? What did he say?”
“Something about Crow hiring a new member without talking to him, I think. He didn’t seem happy about it.”
She rushed past the young man, not bothering to say anything else. So Charien knew about Spade, but did he also know about Knight?
Ashe saw Savvy leaving the cafeteria with a water bottle in hand. Her red hair was drawn back into a stringy ponytail. At first, Ashe thought they would pass each other without a word, but Savvy said, “Why are you going so fast? Are you running away?”
Ashe stopped and rolled her eyes. She had no time for her jibes. “I’m looking for somebody. You know that new member? Spade?”
“The skinny kid? Sure.” Savvy already sounded annoyed.
“Well, he has a brother who looks a lot like him. They’re twins.”
Savvy gave her a flat look, in no way encouraging her to keep talking.
“Have you seen him?” Ashe pushed.
“No,” Savvy said.
Ashe scoffed. “Of course you haven’t. Evonry forbid you help me with anything.”
Silence. The air was potent with tension. Ashe could tell Savvy was holding back information; she knew more than she let on.
How did they get to this point? There used to be no secrets between them. The memory of their friendship only embittered Ashe more.
Savvy broke the silence first. “Do you mean the intruder that Charien found in your room?”
Ashe’s anger flared. Her gaze sharpened. “Is that right?”
Savvy wasn’t intimidated, meeting her gaze evenly. She seemed to catch the fear belying Ashe’s fury. “Yeah, he was pretty sickly. It’s a wonder how he got in here at all, isn’t it?”
“A wonder,” Ashe repeated. “Because everything is such a wonder, right, Sav?”
“You don’t need to worry about it. Charien took care of it.”
Her breath caught. “How? What did he do?”
“You know what Charien did,” Savvy sneered. “Do you have something to with the intruder?”
Ashe brushed her off. “So what?”
“Are you stupid, Ashe?” Savvy’s ire mirrored Ashe’s. They were so alike, even in their mannerisms. “Why did you bring guys here if you didn’t want Charien to do something about it?” Grief punctuated her words, her voice a howl of despair. “You never learn anything! Do you ever think about anyone but yourself?”
Ashe eyed her with chilled regard, her anger cooling into contempt. “Why would I?”
Tears welled in Savvy’s eyes, which she quickly wiped in disgust. “Of course you don’t. Everything’s always about you. Everyone dies around you, and you don’t care.”
The gulf between herself and Savvy had never seemed larger. They eyed each other from across the distance: a stand-off.
“You think I don’t care?” Ashe said.
“It’s obvious,” Savvy spat in response.
Her laugh echoed down the tunnel before Ashe even realized she was the one laughing. “Whatever, Sav. You should be grateful to me. I’m the only reason Charien doesn’t notice you. But don’t worry; when I’m dead, you’ll get him all to yourself.”
Ashe barely registered the disgusted contortion of Savvy’s face at the mere thought. Well, it wasn’t a mere thought for Ashe. For her, Charien’s penetrating affection was as real and inevitable as the rise and fall of the sun. The others snuck around him, quiet as little mice, but Ashe couldn’t ask for such mercy. When the monster pulled her into his den, there was no escape.
“There’s blood on your hands,and I don’t just mean your contracts.” Savvy’s voice trembled. Ashe couldn’t tell if it was anger, sadness, or fear. “Rath’s dead because of you.”
Ashe licked her lips, taking a moment to reply. “You don’t think I miss him just as much as you?”
“I don’t know. You move on fast. You’re already, what, seducing some other guy in plain sight of Charien?”
This elicited another scornful laugh. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. I’m barely seducing him. Honestly, I just stand there. It’s really not my fault.”
Savvy gritted her teeth. “It will be your fault when Charien kills them!”
Ashe stepped toward Savvy, a head taller than the girl. “It’s like you people want me to roll over and die. Admit it. You just want me to shut up and take it. Well, I’m not made of self-sacrificing stuff. Find another scapegoat, Sav, and do it soon. You know your dad won’t protect you.”
Savvy’s watery glare betrayed hurt. “Stop it, Ashe! Stop before we’re all dead!”
“You’re just like your dad, you know! A fucking coward!”
“No shit I’m scared! You’re the most selfish person in the fucking world!”
“Good. I hope we all die. Then maybe everyone will shut up!”
Savvy's fists trembled at her side. Do it, Ashe thought, internally goading her on. I know you want to hit me, you coward.
“Girls, stop!” Norma’s stern voice rang out without Ashe having noticed her entrance. The older woman stepped between them and spoke low. “You only have each other. You shouldn’t blame the other for the failures of adults.”
The word adult grated on Ashe. She was seventeen–some would say barely on the cusp of adulthood–but this meant nothing. She had been treated like an adult since she was twelve. People like Norma only treated her like a child when it was convenient, when they had a point to make, when they wanted Ashe to behave.
Ashe knew what they meant by “behave”; to behave was to die, to have her entire being subsumed by that man. She didn’t have it in her to let herself die.
“She’s going to get everyone killed,” Savvy said, gaze boring into Ashe.
Norma shook her head. “If Charien could kill all of us, he would have done it already. He’s not all-powerful, despite how everyone acts about him. Somebody will put him in his place one day. Men like him never last.”
“Rath couldn’t,” Savvy stated simply.
“He was caught by surprise,” Norma said, an edge creeping into her voice. “It wasn’t a fair fight.”
“Well, if Rath couldn’t do it, then those boys sure can’t,” Savvy replied. “It’s not fair to them. They have no idea what she’s dragged them into!”
“Calm down, Savannah. They’re here now.” Norma waved her hands in the air, a gesture meant to deflate Savvy’s irritation, but Savvy continued to shoot daggers in Ashe's direction. “We’re making the best of it.” Norma paused, addressing Ashe, “But you probably should keep your distance to avoid rankling Charien. You know how he is.”
“Like I should have done with Jason, right?” Ashe said.
Norma’s eyes widened, the comment hitting her right in the gut–just as Ashe knew it would. Jason had been important to Norma. He had entered X when he was very young, perhaps too young for the business, and Norma took him in as something of a foster son.
Jason had considered her his mother in everything but blood. Ashe remembered how boyish—almost sheepish—he could be around Norma, especially when she scolded him for spending money frivolously or being reckless. Ashe had never seen him defer to anyone else like that, but she wasn’t surprised. Boys really did get attached to their mothers.
“I know it’s not fair, but it’s important. We don’t want to lose anyone else. Charien can be very possessive of you.” Norma spoke slowly, picking her words too carefully.
Despite Norma’s neat bun and benign appearance, Ashe knew she could be a snake. Norma never forgave Ashe for what happened to Jason, although the botanist would never go so far as to vocalize it. Ashe could see it in the way Norma looked at her, wary and fearful, as if to get too close to her was to invite death into her life again.
It was ridiculous. After all, death was Norma’s profession. She had been a botanist at a prestigious university in Genisi, selling poisons on the side to assassins like Crow, before the scandal that revealed her illicit side activities to her peers and the public. Disgraced and exiled from academia, Crow took her in: a favor for an old friend.
Norma continued to make poisons responsible for the deaths of hundreds,but she would never directly get her hands dirty. This included telling Ashe how she really felt about what happened to Jason.
Ashe swallowed the biting remark she wanted to make, practically choking on it. “Savvy said Charien caught a sickly intruder,” she said. “Do you know anything about it?”
“You must mean Knight,” Norma answered. “I certainly hope Charien hasn’t. I was just in my lab with Knight.”
Ashe stepped past Norma, intent on making it to the lab, but Norma touched her arm. “I don’t think it’s a good idea. For obvious reasons.”
Ashe shook her off. “I have to find him. I knew Savvy lied.”
With well-practiced ease, Ashe twisted by the woman and made way down the tunnel. Soon she reached the unassuming door of Norma’s lab. If she didn’t know better, she wouldn’t have thought there was anything special about it. It could have been a broom closet.
She jerked open the door to see the lab as she expected it to be. Lamps warmed rows of fledgling plants that Ashe was sure contained enough poison to kill on contact. Notes proliferated across the counters, scrawled with Norma’s loose handwriting. There were beakers, vials, jars, and a refrigerator for specimens powered by a generator that droned monotonously.
It was all the same boring stuff until her eyes reached Knight. He thumbed the page of a book, expression serene. He didn’t notice her at all.
She snuck toward him and glanced over his shoulder at the page that so fixated him. There was a hatched illustration of a small spider dangling from a thick, fibrous web. Emerald Hunter Spider read the header of the page.
Ashe couldn’t contain her revulsion at the sight of its fuzzy little legs, rendered in loving detail. “Eww.”
Knight started and turned to look at her. “Oh, it’s you. Ashe, right?”
“Can you even read?”
“I can read just fine,” Knight retorted.
Ashe mentally questioned if this was even true. She was pretty sure Spade was illiterate—especially from the way he squinted at signs and asked her to read them for him—and so why would Knight be any different?
She rested her hands on her hips. “I looked everywhere for you. I thought Charien snatched you up. Do you know how worried I was?”
Knight seemed unimpressed. “I’m sure you were worried about me and not what Spade thinks.”
His comment caught her off-guard. “What are you talking about? I don’t care what he thinks. I just don’t want to get in trouble.”
He eyed her distrustfully, and somehow the look hurt her. Even when she had the best intentions, people didn’t believe her.
“Will you come back to my room?” she asked. “You shouldn’t be walking around.”
“I will tonight, but only to sleep,” Knight said. He spoke with more confidence than he had when they first met. “This seems to be the safest place, anyway. I don’t know why you don’t hang out here more often.”
A good question. Ashe looked around. For one, it was boring. She scanned the junk scattered around with no interest. Then, her gaze landed on a terrarium tucked away on a shelf. Spiders scurried inside, the veil of their webs unmistakable in the glass corners of the case.
“Aren’t they cute?” Knight got up and approached the terrarium. “Norma says I can’t hold them. They’re venomous.” He let out a small sigh.
Ashe shook her head. “Gross! Don’t take any out while I’m here.”
“You don’t like spiders?” Knight asked, almost sounding surprised.
“Why would I?”
Knight laughed. It was a friendly chuckle, nothing malicious, but she hadn’t expected to be laughed at. She couldn’t think of the last time somebody made light of her. Usually people took her with dreadful seriousness.
“Sometimes they were my only company,” he said. “They would dangle by my bed at the orphanage. Their webs were so beautiful.”
It was her turn to laugh. “You and Spade are so full of sad stories. Let me guess. The spider was your only friend?”
“Not only. I always had Coren and my brother.” His look met her eyes. “Spade might not seem like it, but he gets really attached to people.”
“I know what you mean. I can really fall for people myself.” Ashe bent slightly, peering at one of Norma’s notes. A recipe for amarodin. She had used it before. It could be slipped into a drink, but its bitter flavor could give it away. It was best mixed with something sweet.
Knight seemed to notice her inattention, his question more direct. “Why did you bring us here?”
She grasped for a response. How could she explain it? Would Knight even believe it if she confessed that when she saw Spade for the first time at the Dockside, she sensed he was a kindred soul?
Something in Spade’s slouch, as if he was struggling to bear the weight of the world, his face pummeled and swollen but his gaze still challenging. For a brief moment, she hadn’t felt so alone.
Ashe didn’t have time to respond before the door opened and Norma trotted through with a troubled frown. Ashe could only imagine the conversation she had with Savvy after Ashe left. Norma was the only one who could ever calm Savvy down.
“Oh, be careful with those,” Norma said when she noticed Knight by the terrarium. “They’re the most venomous spiders known to man. And they’re such little things. You should leave the venom extraction to me.”
Knight nodded, but the downturn of his lips expressed his disappointment.
“But, you can certainly help with the plants so long as you wear gloves,” Norma said lightly. “You might get a nasty rash otherwise… or worse.”
“So, you have a job now?” Ashe glanced at Knight. “Wow. You’ve been busy, huh? And here I thought you were bedridden.”
“I’m not bedridden,” Knight muttered. “I get around fine when I'm allowed to.”
“That’s not what Spade says,” she replied, shaking her hair off her shoulder.
Knight bristled. “Spade doesn’t know everything. In fact, he doesn’t know anything. I’m doing just fine here.”
“That’s right,” Norma added as she slipped on gloves. “Knight’s a great help. It’s like having a graduate assistant again!”
Ashe noticed the slight wobble of Knight’s legs as he walked and the way he intermittently held the counter to keep balance. There was no hiding the glazed look in his eyes, but she kept these observations to herself. “At least you have something to keep you busy. Spade hasn’t even got you that tape player, has he? I’d be bored to death.”
“I’d rather be doing this than laying around watching tapes.”
“Not me,” Ashe said. “I love tapes. I could watch them all day if people let me.”
“Really? What kinds?” Knight asked. “I don’t really know of any.”
Ashe perked up. “All kinds! Action, you know, violence. War. There’s so many. Recently I’ve been watching swashbuckling tapes like The Midnight Duel or The Corsair’s Code. I have a box of tapes if you want to borrow one.”
The door opened again. Savvy froze in the doorway, fingers locked around the tray that held a steaming bowl of soup. The temperature of the room seemed to drop as Ashe held Savvy’s glare, both refusing to look away.
“What are you doing here?” Savvy asked with derision.
“Don’t worry about it. I was already on my way out.” Ashe brushed past Savvy on her way to the door. As she left the room, Ashe heard Savvy tell Knight that he should eat the food to help with his nausea.
They used to be friends. The thought badgered her, even though she knew it was pointless. Charien was the only constant, the loves in her life snuffed out, lost to her in a time when it had all been more bearable.
She thought of Spade without meaning to. Lately, she couldn’t help but wonder about where he was and what he was doing.
Did he talk to other girls? The insecurity that clenched her heart at this thought was completely new. He was practically a stranger. She should know better; he wasn’t the type of guy who even knew how to talk to women.
She wandered down one of the little used tunnels and sat on the ground in the darkness, wondering if he was thinking about her too.